"Brooklyn is full of white kids doing white kid things” stories are, all of them, dead on arrival at this point in the grand news cycle; not because they’re necessarily untrue, but because the sheer weight of them in recent history has turned the entire genre into a cliche that is far too strong to be undone just by tossing in a few knowing remarks to indicate that you’re aware of its existence. The self-aware media outlet that thinks it can circumvent the awfulness of Brooklyn Trend Stories by going meta on them makes the same miscalculation that the fauxhemian himself makes when he thinks that he can do shitty ’80s synthesizer music in a new and fresh way: the fundamental material that they’re working with is rotten to the core. It cannot be redeemed."